The conversation goes something like this:

Us: “Hello”

Them: “Hello”

Us: “Hello”

Them: “Hello”

Us: “Hello”

(Blank Screen and silence.)

Them: “Oh, now we can see you!”

Us: “Well, we can’t see you”.

Them: “Why not?”

Us: “No idea”.

(Blank screen and silence)

Them: “It’s OK we can see you now”.

Us: “Good”.

Them: “Switch your mic on. We can’t hear you”.

Us: ” It is on.Why can’t you hear us?”

Them: “No idea. Try switching it off then on again”.

Both: “It’s OK now!!!”

Us: “Can you tilt your screen down a bit, we can only see the top of your head”.

Them: “That better?”

Us: “A bit”.

Us: “How come you’re in Brooklyn?”

Them: We’re not, it’s San Francisco”.

Us: “How do you do that?”

Them: “You just choose a background photo from the library or you can make your own”.

(Long silence)

Them: “You’ve done it! Nice Palm trees. How is it on that beach?”

Us: “Lovely, no lock down”.

Them: “Sorry, can’t hear you. Sound’s gone again”.

Us: “Sorry ,can’t hear you. Sound’s gone again”.

Them: “It’s OK now”.

Us: “Good.”.

Them: “How are you getting on in London?”

Us: “Your picture’s frozen now and there’s no sound. Can you say that again?”

Them: “How are you doing?”

Us: “OK.” “Your screen’s fallen forward”.

Them: “What?”

Us: “Your screen’s fallen forward”.

Them: “We were wondering how you’re getting on”

Us: “OK ,considering”

Them: “You can’t answer while we’re still speaking. Can you answer again now”

Us: “OK, considering. But we can’t see you now.”

Them: “That’s because you can only see the person who’s talking”

Us: “Are you sure”

Them: “Pretty sure”

(A notice appears on screen)

‘Your meeting is over‘

Us: “Bye. Great to chat. Let’s do it again next week”.

Them: “What?’