MARCH 20

This morning “The writer” wakes certain that we shouldn’t, mustn’t, venture outside the door any more. He has dreamed about marauding gangs in the parks and since there are already reports of thefts of food and refrigerators, it appears not unlikely – though what they’d be after in the parks, I’m not sure. I’m committed to agreeing so I don’t try to dissuade him and, instead, work out how not to lose what remaining muscle I have without daily walks. Our “trainer”, whom “The Writer” more accurately dubs our “stretcher”, comes – came- twice a week to inflict mild torture and teach us T’ai Chi routines, one of which that involves opening and closing a fan while twirling and stamping and which “The Writer ” refuses to do on the grounds that it makes him feel silly. I feel sillier, having been trying and failing to learn a simple sequence of steps for over a year. I decide to do my 10,000 steps walking up and down the sitting room. This involves pulling back the heavy rug, moving the television and trying to avoid creaking floorboards as “The Writer” is working like a maniac. I realise, half- way through the second lap, that I won’t be able to keep this up for a week- let alone a year. I decide to do my 10,000 steps walking up and down the sitting room. This involves pulling back the heavy rug, moving the television and trying to avoid creaking floorboards as “The Writer” is working like a maniac. I realise, half- way through the second lap, that I won’t be able to keep this up for a week- let alone a year.

(The T’ai Chi fan is the large, red paper one at the back, the white feathery one was my Grandmother’s and the black and white lace one was bought for me by “The Writer” to waft about at a Royal Garden Party. Unfortunately, the day of the garden party was one of the wettest July days on record, during which, The Queen made the unprecedented kindly gesture of inviting some of the dripping, bedraggled guests into her private retiring room. We heard afterwards that all the cups and saucers bearing the Royal Crest were stolen by souvenir hunters and I still wake in the night wondering how I can reassure Her Majesty that it wasn’t us.)