We have more food in the apartment than ever before. Having given up on Ocado days ago when I was told I was number 8,761 in the queue to log on, I spent a day researching food delivery sites. Every one I visit that hasn’t crashed, cheerfully accepts my order, and only when it arrives, either two days before or after the chosen delivery date, do I discover what’s missing. My solution is to repeat the whole order on each functioning website, the result being that we have 6 punnets of raspberries, 6 punnets of blueberries, 4 pints of milk – and, of course, no toilet rolls

My routine for the taking-in and unpacking of groceries is as follows: Shout through the intercom at the entrance to the block for delivery driver to come up and leave box outside apartment door. Leave tip in envelope outside door for this heroic person to collect. Decide I haven’t left him/her enough so open the door to put more money in envelope – bump into delivery person putting down the box. Slam door and run to kitchen to put on rubber gloves, pick up alcohol wipe and scissors. Open front door with alcohol wipe held in gloved hand. Cut open cardboard box – on which virus can live for 72 hours – with scissors. Wipe cardboard box with alcohol wipe and take out food items, swiping each individual item with alcohol wipe. Put items on floor just inside front door. Worry about having put groceries on floor. Collect recycling bag from kitchen still wearing rubber gloves. Worry about having contaminated box containing re-cycling bags. Put cardboard boxes in re-cycling bag and remove rubber gloves. Add them to re-cycling bag. Worry about needing to tie up re-cycling bag without rubber gloves. Put groceries away. Worry whether virus can survive in fridge. Collapse onto bed.

I’m not complaining about any of this. It’s miraculous that we can get food at all.